“Where do you want to go” the iPhone assistant asks me when I hesitate to provide my destination. It’s a good question.
As I have struggled at times to figure out my own personal or professional destination I have often told myself “I don’t know where I want to go.” When we start on the path toward our best self we quickly realize we have a decision to make–in what direction should I actually go?
This desire to go a certain way represents our ideal self, or as Christian thinkers have articulated, our vocation. The word vocare is a Latin form of the word meaning “to call.” It’s how we get the idea of our calling our purpose in life. Knowing where we want to go means we have to “listen to our life” as Frederick Buechner once wrote.
This is the third post in a four-part series on the components of the pathway to your best self where I focus on personality, purpose and process. If you’ve just arrived start here. Today’s post is focused on purpose.
I have learned that discovering our calling and taking action toward our preferred future is really about a few basic things that orient us in a direction we want to go.
Places We’re From
First, your journey so far in life can be represented by the many destinations you have already visited. This includes the context of your life, where you grew up, your family of origin, and the specific experiences you have had. Have you ever heard someone say, “you’re not from around here?” That can be painful at times, but on the plus side it helps us acknowledge that our context matters. In Enneagram thinking, your personality expressed itself out of the particular situation you grew up in. That’s why personality reflection tells us a lot about ourselves, it reveals for us our motivations in life, traits we have developed, or adopted roles we fulfill. Personality reflection gives us information to craft priorities for where we want to go.
Permission to Hope
Second, how many times do we set out for a destination only to look at the gauge and realize we’re almost out of gas? We need fuel to get somewhere. Hope is like that. Hope fuels the desire we have to live into something fuller, richer, more complete. Hope is what gives us the energy to pursue that new job, the important relationship conversation, or the lifestyle habits that bring us better health.
Priorities of Love
St. Paul says to the Philippians and to us “may your love abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best….” Even more central than hope, is love. When we know we are loved, we can dare to dream. When we are in touch with who we love, and who loves us, we usually get closer to our most essential priorities. The late Stephen Covey who taught me what doing “first things first” is really about, once said, “If the ladder is not leaning against the right wall, every step we take just gets us to the wrong place faster.” Most of us, when we truly reflect on our ideal self, recognize the extreme importance of relationships. Oftentimes the best destinations we select are the ones that include important people in our lives in a profound way.
A vision for our ideal self is a lifelong charting of our path. But we have to start somewhere by recognizing where we’re from, fueling our desire for the destination with hope, and charting a course with the priorities of love as the bedrock.
Question: Have you crafted a personal vision for your life and set priorities for the destination?
Wherever you are on the path to your preferred destination, I want to serve you in whatever way I can and help you craft a life you believe is worth living. Leave a comment or send me an email at jeff@jeffgephart.com.
Here’s to hope for a good future!
Jeff