Lately in the midst of so much cultural anxiety and fear over the current state of affairs I’ve been pondering the words of Jesus, “who by worrying can add a single hour to this life?”
The worry struggle is real and there is plenty of stuff for which I often think I need to worry. But it doesn’t translate well into what I need today to get up and go to work. Worry short-circuits my ability to discern what is best. Worry gets me involved in projects or tasks that I later regret as a waste of my time (I’m looking at you Twitter).
What I want is the strength to do my important tasks with diligence. I need empathy to love those who are right in front of me. I desire courage to make a difference in my community and bring about real change. Do you want those things too?
So what, other than worry, can fuel our energy for doing first things first? Enter stage center, an important pathway concept for determining a vision for your life — leaving a legacy.
Legacy Is Not Just for Famous People
Legacy is not just something for politicians and famous people. You and I build a legacy with our life each day in the actions we take. We often just don’t get intentional about it. In their book Living Forward: A Proven Plan to Stop Drifting and Get the Life You Want, authors Michael Hyatt and Daniel Harkavy, suggest an exercise of actually writing your eulogy. That’s right, when you pass from this life, and others stand up to share memories of you, what do you hope they say? How would YOU write that eulogy? Writing it down engages both the head and the heart in the process of planning the life you desire.
Confronting My Story
I read Living Forward three years ago in the midst of some soul searching and reflection on my life. I actually did this eulogy exercise. I didn’t share it with anyone except maybe my wife, but it informed many choices. One little phrase I wrote articulated my vision of my physical self: “My physical body is lean, strong and flexible and my energy abounds for both work and play.”
Fast forward three years to this past spring. I walked into a follow up appointment to hear my physician say immediately “You have Type 2 Diabetes.” That was crushing. I had to confront a blood sugar level that was out of control, unhealthy cholesterol levels and dangerously high triglycerides. I knew every morning I was low energy and my extra 35 pounds was physically noticeable and a constant drag. Reality check.
Why Legacy Is Important
In my earlier post I suggested doing the next right thing as a way to cope in times of great difficulty or change. That’s about not getting so focused on the future that we are unable to take the next step today. Yet there’s another important aspect to this equation. Your vision for your legacy is what helps determine the right part of the “the next right thing.” When you lack vision you lack clarity and focus.
Getting diagnosed with diabetes brought instant clarity to my vision for my life. In my eulogy I envisioned being known as someone with great energy for work and for play. I want to be around to enjoy relationships with my grandchildren, and to see my boys in their exciting pursuits as grown men with families of their own.
In a strange kind of way I’m thankful for this diagnosis. Not because I want the extra health risks and limitations. Instead, my diagnosis woke me up to see things I neglect. My diagnosis brought clarity about what to focus on right now, because it really matters a A LOT a long time from now. I’m glad to say I’m now within a couple pounds of my ideal weight after making a lot of lifestyle changes. Three months later my metabolism is doing really well!
Write Your Legacy One Day At a Time
You might be thinking, how do I even begin to live the kind of life I want? First, just start. A legacy begins one day at a time. That means if we haven’t felt good about the days up until now, there is always today to start re-writing our legacy. Second, give that eulogy exercise a try, and see what rises to the top. The Living Forward book has a lot of useful tools to map it out as well as some free resources to take action and do the next right thing. You’ll know it’s the next right thing when you get clarity on what matters most to you.
Question: Do your actions today line up with a vision of how you want to leave a legacy?
Leave a note in the comments or send me a message if you found this helpful or want to add to the conversation! As always, let me know if I can help you on the path to your best self.
With joy in the journey,
Jeff
Why is it that just like in church, I feel you like you are writing these just for me sometimes?
I was just having this conversation with another supervisor who said he was thinking of what legacy he wanted to leave behind. I asked when he planned on retiring and he said next July. My expression was tantamount to chomping on the tartest lemon you can think of… not good to say the least. He was astute enough to notice this and curmudgeonly asked when I planned to retire and what legacy I would leave behind. I told him I am eligible for full retirement in 2 years and I am mandatory in 9 years (Special Agents have a mandatory retirement at age 57). As far as my legacy, I further stated that I started working on that goal 21 years ago when I started with the agency. He threw the BS flag immediately, apparently a foul on the play…I can hear the referee in his head:
“Neutral Zone Infraction on Sean’s Career! No employee is that far ahead in planning one’s legacy as to know what they’ll leave behind that far in advance of one’s career”
I laughed and assured him I was serious. He acquiesced his position and asked what my legacy would be. I simply said people will always remember how you made them feel but rarely will they remember what you accomplished. Maybe in some circumstances your accomplishments shine through and if they do, I am sure those accomplishments are huge. Not everyone is in a position or gets opportunities at big accomplishments but EVERYONE gets to make an impression every single day with the people we work with, work for, mentor, influence, train or supervise.
His look of derision hung over me like 2020 but he followed up and said people do not like me… Me again with the lemons… Him again being astute. I told him I liked him, he said I find a reason to like most everyone. He started to sound more like Glum from Gulliver’s Travel at that point knowing he could not change the past 20 some years of negativity and the reality of not leaving a legacy in one year when he did not even have an idea of what that would be.
I told him we have a new agent that does not know his 20 previous years. I suggested making an effort every day to be a positive influence on that agent from now until the day you retire. You never know what that agent is capable of in their career or how you could help influence that.
He jokingly cursed my positivity but said that is what he loved about me. In 10 years after I leave this job, I hope people remember my legacy as someone who cared for people, a fun guy to have around, someone they could depend one, someone that was good for a laugh, someone who was there to listen, never judged them and someone they miss.
Sean I’m super stoked this is resonating with you. I’m trying to picture individuals when I write so helpfully that’s working. I’m learning! And having fun. You’re always great with a story and this one delivers. I love how you just encouraged your coworker to see the upside of a new agent that he can rewrite the narrative with! I wonder, if he had success with that one person, would he be willing to go back to others in humility and say, “can I have a do over? I’m trying to do things different.” You’re right my friend, it IS about relationships. When I get crazy busy on the tasks I need to pull back and remember that big WHY! Thanks for your comment, Sean. Have a good weekend!