I know it must seem really strange that I’m talking about quitting. I mean, we’re just getting into the Fall which means so much is beginning!
Admiral William McRaven wrote a little book called Make Your Bed: Little Things That Can Change Your Life…and Maybe the World. A great little book that my dad gave my oldest son a few years ago, and it got me thinking about quitting.
I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what we go through mentally when we want to quit. Have you ever quit your job (in your mind) after a hard day, only to hire yourself back the next morning? I know I have. A lot. Admiral McRaven says that to succeed as a Navy Seal the secret was very simple…just don’t quit. It seems so easy. Well, easy it’s not, but it is simple.
The Psychology of Quitting
A friend recently shared with a leadership group an insight about quitting — you usually want to quit not DURING the hard thing, but AFTER you have rested. Isn’t that right? This year you may have totally had to change how you work, and put out SO MUCH MORE energy to do what once felt habitual. Did you take time off in the midst of it, only to find that it was harder to come back after you had rested? That’s part of the psychology of quitting. I know when my wife and I took a week off about a month into the pandemic, it was so hard to go back to work. Talk about Sunday night blues. We knew it was going to be tough again.
Take It One Evolution At a Time
What helped was just to be present in the moment, or what Admiral McRaven says they said in the Navy Seals — “Take it one evolution at a time.” If you think too far out to what you need to do this week or this month or this year, sometimes that is just too far an event horizon when it’s really tough. Didn’t Jesus himself say “today has enough troubles of it’s own?” Sometimes when it’s tough we need to just look at the next step that is right in front of us. What can you do this very moment? Then take the next step after that. In my mind I’m picturing Anna in Pixar’s movie Frozen 2 singing the lyric “do the next right thing.”
What’s Your Next Right Thing
September is upon us. Maybe you’re brimming with excitement. Or maybe you’re dreading something that you know is going to be hard. Maybe you’re working on an important new habit that feels hard. It’s easiest to quit after you’ve rested and you’re heading back in. Go for it anyway, and just take it one step at a time today and do the next right thing!
Question: Are you doing something hard right now that you feel like quitting? Try “taking it one evolution at a time” and see if you can find some traction and be present TODAY.
Leave a note in the comments or send me a message if you found this helpful! As always, let me know if I can help you on the path to your best self.
With joy in the journey,
Jeff
Let me start by saying I absolutely love Admiral McRaven’s speech “If You Want to Change the World, Start Off by Making Your Bed” Here’s a link to it on youtube that I always watch when I’m feeling unmotivated:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sK3wJAxGfs
I have not read his book yet but it is on my list. In the Army, you have the near battle and the far battle. When I was in Afghanistan, you may be going to set up for an ambush but then get ambushed yourself. The ambush you were going to just became your far battle and the ambush you walked into just became your near battle. If you do not make it through or survive the near battle, the far battle does not matter.
I try to prioritize all things in my life as the near battle and the far battle, although let’s be honest, not all things deserve such high priority as one cannot defend that hanging up my clothes versus getting to the next level of candy crush will be met with my absolute demise if not accomplished… Although Household 6 (Loving military term for my wife) might disagree, lol.
When I was in Afghanistan though I wanted to quit every single day. I lived with 1,500 Afghans of the Afghan National Army. Working 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, separated from American contact for the most part, being attacked, survivability was uncertain, I never knew when or if I would talk to my family, the most horrid conditions I could ever imagine. When the daily negative thoughts of quitting entered my head I turned toward my faith, I reflected on what I had that was good in my life, my family that I had to fight to get home too, the great memories of my childhood that still made me laugh and focused on what I needed to in that moment. Praise God that he brought me home alive but that kind of environment took its toll.
Years later, I give myself so much more grace if I want to quit something now. I do realize if I put energy into something new or “re-prioritize” something that means something else is probably getting less priority. Something becomes my near battle, which means something becomes my far battle.
Man, that’s real, Sean. I love the concept of near battle and far battle. Sometimes I can get so hung up on what I’m going to do in a month or to remedy a solution that I forget what’s right in front of me. Sometimes it’s just getting up and “eating the frog,” a term I heard someone to describe the toughest thing you have to do that day. I find when I just do what’s right in front of me, it builds momentum for the next thing. Thanks for sharing!